What they say

What they mean

What the real issue often is

I feel overwhelmed by it all ....

• I have no idea where to start

• I can't believe it's got this bad

• It's going to take forever and I don't know if I have enough time or energy to do it all

• They haven't got a clear process to follow when they declutter -with a beginning, middle and end.

• It's not just the clutter that's overwhelming, it's the 'things to do' associated with what's in it that is equally time and energy draining.

It feels as though it grows before my very eyes...

•  I feel completely out of control of it

• I have no idea where it comes from or how it accumulates

• I can't stop it

• It's not worth trying to declutter or organise it because it's got a mind of it's own

• They're trying to declutter which is the SYMPTOM while ignoring the CAUSE of the clutter - the accumulation.
  

• decluttering, organising and accumulating clutter are 3 very different things.  To get your home and clutter under control you need to:
  
  • Stop accumulating the clutter
  • declutter the backlog
  • Organise what you decide to keep

You do it for me..

• I'm not ready to take responsibility for my belongings or home
  

• I don't want to take a little time to learn how to do it myself so I'M IN CONTROL of my home

• I'm scared of making decisions
  

• I don't risk the possibility of making mistakes or 'failing' to declutter if I don't make the decisions about what to do with the clutter

• If it doesn't last, I can blame someone else and it's not my fault

• I would rather become dependent on someone else than be empowered for the future

• I'm not ready to accept that what I'm doing isn't working

• I believe that if I just keep doing it then maybe I'll be able to clear it

• I don't think I'm worth the cost of help

• I'm not prepared to accept that someone else might have an easier and quicker way of dealing with this.

• I believe I know best and no one can teach me something I don't already know / haven't seen on the TV programmes

I 'should'.....

• Should = won't and haven't
  

• One day but I have no idea when

• In an ideal world

• I feel guilty

• I don't want to upset someone else

I'll probably....

• Probably = won't
  

• one day but I have no idea when

• If I had all the time in the world

• Good intentions, poor execution. 

• We've all got things that we should 'probably' do, but we don't have enough time, energy or resources.

• Be realistic so you can loose the guilt.

It's worth something / will be worth something one day.

• One day = no idea when
  

• Worth = the possible future  value is worth more to me than living in a clutter free home

• They're looking at the value of the item to someone else, rather than whether it has any value to THEM NOW
  

• It's only worth something if you sell it.

• It's of no value to anyone if it's not being used.

• Give it or sell it to someone else who will get the value out of it AND pay you money so you can get the value out of it. either financial or 'feel good' value.

It cost a lot

• Cost = I value money more than space

• They're looking at the value of the item to THEM at the point of sale, rather than whether it has any value to them NOW.

• So what? You bought it and paid the money. That money is gone, you'll never get that money back. Even if you can sell it, you're unlikely to get what you paid for it.

• The cost of it is stuck in the item as long as you keep the item - wasted value if you're not using or appreciating it.

• You wouldn't be worrying about the cost of it if you were actually using it, enjoying it, getting the practical value out of it

• It's of no value to anyone if it's not being used.

• Give it or sell it to someone else who will get the value out of it AND pay you money so you can get the value out of it. either financial or 'feel good' value. 

• You're only focusing on the FINANCIAL value of the item because you've got no PRACTICAL value out of it

• It's costing you SPACE NOW - so you choose - do want space, or something that you'll never use?  Move on....

One day..........

• One day = no idea when

• In my dreams

• on the 5th of Never

• Good intentions, poor execution. 

• We've all got things that we would one day like to do, but we don't have enough time, energy or resources.

• Be realistic.  If you do get time to do whatever, get the things then so they're used and appreciated at the time rather than taking up valuable space now.

Maybe I'll...

• Maybe = never

• I know I won't

• Living in a dream world

• You know you won't because it's only a maybe.

•  Be honest - you're not even convincing yourself, are you?!

Keeping it will save me money

• Save = save time, not money
  

• Only if you can afford the space to keep it and don't mind the value of it being unavailable for other things that you might need to buy NOW.

• Only if you can find it when you come to need it - and how often have you saved time by going and getting another one because it's quicker and easier than going through the clutter?

• Will it?

• Release the asset and at least get some space back RIGHT NOW.

• How exactly will it do that? 'if', 'one day', 'maybe'......? 

• The decision required - save money and have no space, or have space and maybe have to pay a little more later when you actually NEED the item.

•  Accept that, if you still insist on keeping the clutter yet can't guarantee that you're going to use it in the next few months, you're probably not yet ready to do your decluttering.

I can't get rid of it, it's sentimental...

• Can't = won't

• Sentimental  = memory

• Are you sure it's the 'thing' that's sentimental and not the memory?

• You're worried you'll forget the memory if you don't have the thing.

• Find a way to harness the memory without keeping the 'thing' eg. scrapbooking.

It might come in useful...

• Might = don't know when

• I don't want to let go of it.

• Lots of things 'might' come in useful, the question is WHEN and if you don't know when then let it go.

• If you can't accept that if you can't guarantee, with a specific example, that you're going to use it in the next few months yet you still refuse to let go of the item, you're probably not yet ready to do your decluttering.

I can't make a decision

• Can't = won't

• I haven't yet reached the point where I can't live like this any more.

• I don't yet have enough of a reason / goal to make the decisions.

• The benefits of decluttering do not yet outweigh the safety I feel with the clutter

• What benefit will decluttering have for you?

• If you can't accept that if you can't guarantee, with a specific example, that you're going to use it in the next few months yet you still refuse to let go of the item, you're porbably not yet ready to do your decluttering.

I'm just disorganised.

• Just = can't accept change
  

• I'm not yet ready to do things differently.

• Any excuse is ultimately a fear of doing things differently.

• If you're not prepared to accept responsibility for the clutter being the result of the way you organise your home, then having a professional declutterer won't be able to help you.
  

I don't have time / I'm too busy.

• Don't = won't

• I want to declutter but I don't want to face it just yet or have to make decisions.

• Maybe the clutter will magically disappear if I ignore it.

• People who are too busy are actually saying they don't want to declutter and fear making decisions. 

• You'll make time when you're ready to face it.

• If you're not ready to make time to do your decluttering then clearing the clutter is not yet important enough to you. The negatives of having the clutter are not yet outweighed by the benefits of clearing it.  Think really hard about 'why' you want to declutter.
  

I've always been like this

• Always = can't accept that I have the power to change the future

• I'm not yet ready to change

• You may have always been like this, but we learn how to be like this which means we can 'unlearn' it and learn a new way of dealing with the clutter.

• Are you ready to learn a new way of clearing, controlling and organising your clutter?

• If you're not prepared to accept responsibility for the clutter being the result of what you've been doing not working, your home, then having a professional declutterer won't be able to help you.

It's too difficult

• I'm not yet ready to deal with the issues surrounding my clutter.

• I'm not ready to take responsibility for my clutter.

• It's not difficult if you're ready to try another way of doing it, seek help and take other people's advice.

• If you're not ready to 'face the fear and do it anyway', then clearing the clutter is not yet important enough to you. The negatives of having the clutter are not yet outweighed by the benefits of clearing it.  Think really hard about 'why' you want to declutter.

My family don't help me

• Don't = won't

• I can't deal with them helping me

• I don't want to ask them

• I feel it's my responsibility to clear, control and organise the clutter

• It's a great excuse for not getting help

• They'd go mad if they knew I was even considering paying someone to help me

• Accept that it is what it is and you'll achieve more in less time if you ask for help from someone who does want to help you and will help you.

• Learn a new way of doing your clutter clearing and then, when you're confident in that new process, you'll be able to ask your family to help you in clear, non-confrontational ways.

Getting help is too expensive for me.

• The benefits of pyaing for help do not yet outweight the negatives of having the clutter

• I'm not even going to consider that there are other ways of getting help to declutter without getting someone to come to my home.

• I don't understand the value that an expert showing me what to do and giving me ongoing help and support, can give me beyond the monetary cost.

• I'd rather continue to suffer, struggle and feel uncomfortable in my home

• I'm scared that I'll spend the money and it won't help me in the long run

• Really? You didn't think that what you've spent on the clutter was too much.

• How much have you spent on buying the things that have become clutter?

• Clare doesn't work like professional declutterers. Clare is a qualified Clutter Coach. In fact, Clare doesn't even offer a home visit option because she knows it's not what you need to get a long term permanent solution to your clutter challenge.
  

• We're not trying to get you to spend money you don't have or only help you in your home.

• The question is always the same - are you ready to do things differently to clear, control and organise your clutter in such a way that it doesn't come back again in the future?

• If you're not ready to invest, either time or money, to do your decluttering then clearing the clutter is not yet important enough to you. The negatives of having the clutter are not yet outweighed by the benefits of clearing it.  Think really hard about 'why' you want to declutter.

You can't help me on the telephone / skype

• Can't = won't let you

• I'm going to resist any attempt to help me and prove that I'm a hopeless case.

• You're setting yourself up to fail before you've even tried. The reality is that you need to believe that you can clear your clutter - with help - before you have any type of help. We CAN help you on the telephone if you take our advice and turn it into action.
  

I'm a hopeless case

• I'm not ready to change the way I do things.

• Without my clutter I loose my sense of identity.

• Who will I be without my clutter?

• You're setting yourself up to fail before you've even tried. The reality is that you need to believe that you can clear your clutter before you have any type of help. We CAN help you on the telephone if you take our advice and turn it into action.

I know it'll come back because it has in the past

• Know = if I can control it then I've wasted all this time
  

• I can't accept that the future can be different to the past

• I don't yet believe that I can learn a new habit so that the clutter doesn't come back.

• You're setting yourself up to fail before you've even tried. The reality is that you need to believe that you can clear your clutter before you have any type of help. We CAN help you on the telephone if you take our advice and turn it into action.

I don't have time to do it myself

• Don't = won't make time
  

• You're not ready to take control of your clutter or your life yet.

• If you're not ready to invest, either time or money, to do your decluttering then clearing the clutter is not yet important enough to you. The negatives of having the clutter are not yet outweighed by the benefits of clearing it.  Think really hard about 'why' you want to declutter.