Did I inherit this problem?
Keeping things ‘in case they come in useful’ is one of the most common reasons for keeping things, yet one of the most unsound arguments. It’s a justification that we learnt from our parents and grandparents who were brought up in or just after the post-war eara, where rationing was still in place and people had to be creative and inventive with how to turn one thing into another. They kept anything and everything because the things did come in useful, clothes did get passed on down from one child to another or generation to another.
It’s true that the environment we grow up in contributes to how we live our lives as adults – it’s why many young mum’s call us for help.
They worry that they can already see their children showing signs of having learned how to be cluttered, worry that as stroppy teenagers they won’t be able to challenge them over messy rooms and untidy homes, and are failing to teach them a life skill that they’ll need in the working world.
It’s also true that our clutter may come from having been brought up in an immaculate home.
Many clients remember having family homes that had a Hyacinth Bucket type existence, where every cushion was perfectly poofed, no marks existed anywhere, no dust or dirt, everything was immaculate and, for many people, uncomfortable and intimidating. For some, having been brought up with such high expectations and minimal signs of life in their home, getting a home of their own has meant that it’s their first opportunity to rebel against what they may have felt was oppressive or not for them. So having some clutter in their own home, away from the one they grew up in is a way of them asserting their individuality on their own home.
There’s no definitive answer as to whether clutter is a learned or natural behaviour.
We’ve worked with people who have had clutter because it’s a cry for attention or help, a sign of loneliness, depression, comfort, rebellion, fear of the future, fear of change, feeling out of control of their life, lack of direction in their life, unwillingness to let other people into their homes and lives, pressure to be perfect at work or outside – a whole host of reasons.
One thing is clear though. Whether you inherited, learned or developed the ability to accumulate clutter from your relatives and friends, you can unlearn it too.
And if you want to learn how NOT to be cluttered, change your life and get the home you dream of, then we can help you.
