Have You Reached Your True Turning Point yet?
Have You Reached Your True Turning Point yet?
In the 9 years since I started helping people declutter and organise their homes, I’ve noticed many things that all my clients have in common.
They asked for help because they reached a turning point in their relationship with their clutter.
Many have had turning points.
You may have reached a turning point, but your true turning point is different.
Very often it’s a subtle, non visible turning point.
My turning point was a non-visible realisation that my home no longer felt like a safe cocoon in which I could rest, recharge and protect myself.
Rather than feeling able to come home and close the door on the world outside, I felt as though I was going from the world outside with all it’s demands on my time, energy and resources, to an extension of those demands on my time, energy and resources.
The clutter needed dealing with and there was no-where I could hide away from it.
My true turning point was feeling stuck and helpless. Lost and alone.
For many their first turning point is when they realise that their clutter is getting a little out of control.
It’s gone from simply an ‘untidy’ home with stuff that’s out of place and needs putting back, to clutter that is a mix of things that do and don’t need to stay in the home.
People rarely ask for help at this stage, shrugging it off and telling themselves that it just needs putting away, they’ll deal with it when they get a chance.
This isn’t their true turning point.
A second turning point may be when they realise the clutter has been there for a while and they’ve had several experiences of trying to find things amongst the clutter and, rather than finding it after a little hunting around as they may have done it the past, they have to admit that the clutter has won and go and buy a replacement.
The realisation that this clutter is causing problems is growing, and they may even look on the internet to see if there’s any help out there.
They don’t necessarily admit to friends and family that the clutter is a problem as yet and may dismiss it as something they just need time to deal with.
This isn’t their true turning point.
A third turning point may be when they do eventually get around to making some time to tackle it.
They spend the time weeding out things they know can go, or creating piles of ‘types’ of clutter.
They use all the time doing either of these methods to deal with the clutter and either succeed in achieving a clutter free space, or find they run out of time, energy or the will to live.
Making decisions can be hard – generally the longer it is since the clutter began to accumulate the harder it is to decide what to do with the items in it.
They may succeed or fail to de-clutter when they do this.
This isn’t your true turning point.
A fourth turning point may be when friends and family come to help, deciding to all pull together and help you tackle this problem once and for all.
They come armed with bin bags, enthusiastically putting what is ‘obvious’ rubbish into the bags and taking things off to the tip or recycling centre to make life easier for you.
They advise on what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t do, how your home ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ be organised, and perhaps even offering words of wisdom about how not to get in this state again.
This isn’t your true turning point.
In fact, this can delay your arrival at your true turning point, believing that you’re a hopeless case and no-one understands why you can’t just throw it all away.
A fifth turning point may even be when you get on the internet and find a professional de-clutterer and organiser who is willing and able to come to your home to do it for you or tell you what you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ do, and at a very affordable price.
What a relief – at last the decision making and responsibility need not lie with you any more.
Yet hang on – they’re putting things in the rubbish pile that you don’t want to throw away.
They’re bagging, boxing and moving the clutter from one room into another that wasn’t cluttered.
You’re left with a pile of clutter in bin bags that you’ve got to deal with.
You’re left with a home that may look nicer, organised, clutter free, but you’re not quite sure why or how they’ve achieved it.
It’s a few months after the help and the clutter is appearing again.
That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Hold on – it’s a year after the help and I’m back to square one… that wasn’t supposed to happen.
No this wasn’t, it turns out, the turning point it was meant to be.
Of course many people try to start dealing with their clutter before they reach their true turning point and that’s when they have weekend blitz’s or well meant days that get filled with procrastination and failure.
Your true turning point comes from within YOU
The true turning point has to come from the person with the clutter challenge. The true turning point is when they decide that they want to get back control themselves. The true turning point is a realisation they can’t do it on their own, while at the same time not wanting to surrender control to an outside force.
The true turning point is when you’ve decided to stop making excuses for the clutter, take responsibility and prove everyone wrong – that you’re not just disorganised and cluttered.
You’re not a hopeless case and you can change your life around, on your own.
The true turning point is when you realise that you’re going to have to change not just the way you deal with the clutter, but also how you are accumulating the clutter.
The true turning point is when you realise that this can’t be dealt with in a day or a weekend but instead requires the creation of new habits – which takes a minimum of 66 days, energy, effort and time.
The true turning point is when you realise that your clutter is negatively affecting your everyday life – from what you see to the way you feel, from constantly feeling stuck, to feeling overwhelmed whenever you are around your clutter.
The true turning point is when you realise all these things and still decide that a clutter free home is worth all the time and effort that it will take – and that you don’t have to put your life on hold to achieve it.
So have you reached your true turning point yet?
Or are you still in the lead up to it, believing that if you just make the time to do it, are ruthless with your decision making, ‘pull yourself together’ or get in someone to deal with it you’ll be able to clear the clutter for good on your own?
I’m here when you reach your true turning point.
Recognise whether you are at your turning point or on your way towards a turning point.
Decide whether you want to wait until something more serious happens as a direct result of your clutter before you accept that what you’re doing isn’t working.
If you want to save time, effort, energy and worry then get in touch.
I promise I can help you – but only if you’ve reached your true turning point.