Having a Clutter Buddy can be a great way to get regular motivational boosts while you are on your Journey.
Having a Clutter Buddy is not just about having a friend. You are accountable to your Clutter Buddy. Being and having a Clutter Buddy that helps you get – and stay – motivated requires 3 things:
- You both have a SMARTER Goal
- You hold each other ACCOUNTABLE
- You have an agreed type of ACCOUNTABILITY
- You both know what the CONSEQUENCES of not ‘doing the doing’ are for each other
Whoever you Clutter Buddy up with, schedule an informal get-together to agree and clarify these 4 things so you both know what the expectations are.
1. SMARTER Goal
This is a goal that is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-Bound Target Date, Ethical, Rewarding. So an example with your Clutter Buddy might be:
Specific To have watched and followed your Journey videos for a minimum of 30 minutes a day, three times a week for the 5 weeks of term.
Measurable You can track this in your Success / Gratitude Journal or your Calendar Card and simply add up how many times you watched and followed your Journey videos for a minimum of 30 minutes a day each week. You can then easily measure if it was three times a week.
Achievable – Have you been able to watch and follow your Journey videos for a minimum of 30 minutes a day, three days a week in the past? If not, then it’s probably not realistic to think you will achieve this goal. If you’ve achieved twice a week in the past, then twice a week in the present and future is realistic. If you manage to do 3 then that’s great, but it’s important to underestimate so you can overachieve.
Realistic – If you know from your weekly planner you can allocate 30 minutes a day, three days a week for the 5 consecutive weeks of term, you’ve got plenty of contingency time built in, and you don’t have any holiday / vacation or days out that would get in the way of this, then this is a realistic goal.
Time-Bound Target Date – three times a week for five consecutive weeks. This is a perfect time-bound target date because it’s both a short term (three times a week) and a long term (five consecutive weeks of term) target with a specific End of Term date.
Ethical – will it help improve your Wheel of Life by the end of term? If not, it’s not a Smarter Goal.
Rewarding – what is your End of Term Reward going to be for successfully achieving this goal?
Studies have shown that success rates in achieving a REALISTIC goal when someone is accountable to a stranger can actually be LOWER compared to sharing with someone, we have a positive relationship with, as long as you agree and share the details of your goal, the type of accountability and consequences.
Clutter Buddies work best as a motivation tool when they are not on the same step of the Journey. If you are the person further ahead on your Journey you will have valuable experience to share and will be regularly motivated by being reminded by your Clutter Buddy’s experiences that you’ve already overcome many challenges. For the person who is further behind on their Journey, they are more likely to respect their Clutter Buddy’s advice and take action on it.
Ultimately, by being on different steps of your Journey you are less likely to become enablers who fuel each other’s procrastination, impatience and resistance.
Research has also found that the person who you are buddying with needs to be able to adapt the type of feedback they give over time to help with motivation.
In the early stages the focus is on giving specific positive feedback to help with motivation to keep your Clutter Buddy committed to ‘doing the doing’.
In the latter stages the focus needs to be on actual progress made towards the goal in relation to the deadline and the consequences. This may require some negative feedback.
A little negative feedback – done in a kind and constructive way – results in a better result because it pushes us to keep up the effort. Too much positive feedback and it’s no longer a challenge, our momentum is likely to slow down, and we lose focus on the deadline and consequences.
3. Type of Accountability
Accountability with your Clutter Buddy should be regular and appropriate. For example, if your goal is to have watched and followed your Journey videos for a minimum of 30 minutes a day, three times a week for the 5 weeks of term then it would be appropriate to have accountability with your Clutter Buddy three times a week for the 5 weeks of term, and on a 1-2-1 basis once or twice a week (much like the Private Journey).
That might be in the form of having a weekly call and sharing in the VIP every time you do a minimum of 30 minutes a day so your Clutter Buddy can easily see that you are on track with your weekly goal. In your weekly call you can then celebrate achieving your weekly goal.
The most effective consequences for not staying motivated so we achieve our SMARTER goal tap into our brains natural fear of Loss Aversion – where we see a loss as more significant than a gain.
The most effective consequences you have with your Clutter Buddy need to trigger a sense of pain and discomfort that is greater than the pleasure you’ll gain from achieving your goal, and that loss needs to be specified at the start so that each week of the consequences as the deadline gets closer.
The 10 Success Club 2022 members are paired up into Clutter Buddies. At the beginning of term, they all share what their SMARTER End of Term Goal is in their Private Facebook Group (separate to the VIP Circle) along with a picture of their most recent Wheel of Life.
If they don’t achieve their End of Term Goal, they lose their 1-2-1 Private Sessions with Clare the following term. These consequences help ensure they have a SMARTER goal which is also REALISTIC i.e., it ensures they underestimate so they can overachieve. No one has lost their 1-2-1 Private Sessions…. yet!
You can clear your clutter fast, or you can clear your clutter forever, but you can’t clear your clutter forever, fast.
If you NEED to clear your clutter and you’re ready to accept that you can’t clear it forever FAST, click on this link and visit my Help Centre to find out how I can help you get started. https://www.clutterclearing.net/clares-help-centre/