Ripples from the Past

When making decisions about our clutter in the present, we must navigate our complex web of emotions, memories, behaviours, and circumstances that have been influenced by the experiences of previous generations in the past.

The metaphor of ripples on a pond perfectly captures how the experiences of our families continue to affect our thoughts, feelings, fears and experiences both in our past and our present in profound ways without us even realising it, which in turn can subconsciously influence the decisions that we make in the present.

Here are 5 common ways that the ripples from the past shape the decisions we make about our clutter in the present.

1. Financial Hardship

The financial struggles of our predecessors have left indelible marks on our lives. For many, the post-war rationing and Great Depression eras created a legacy of financial caution, frugality, and a desire to be totally self-sufficient and independent, irrespective of the reality of the present. This can lead to a family mindset and expectation of always saving things that ‘might come in useful’ or ‘make-do-and-mend’ mentality regardless of need. It may have been appropriate thinking during rationing and the depression but is rarely necessary for survival in the modern world.

This careful approach can be helpful for us in terms of prioritising financial stability and resilience in the face of uncertainty, but it can also lead to anxiety and fear, making it difficult for us to let go of the things in our clutter that we no longer need or use because we know from our own experience – or have been told by our family – how unpredictable the future is so you must always expect and be prepared for the worst.

2. Trauma

Trauma is perhaps the most potent of the generational ripples, with the power to shape our lives in the present and our ability to make decisions about the things in our clutter.

The trauma experienced by previous generations, known as intergenerational trauma, leaves a profound imprint on the habits and decision making of their descendants – us. You’ll see it in your decision making in various ways, including anxiety about letting go, the ‘might come in useful’ justification becoming stronger, and the fear of making the ‘wrong’ decision that might lead to regret in the future that can cause more trauma.

People who have experienced such trauma may develop attachment to objects as a way of coping with their grief and maintaining a connection to what they have lost in the past. However, for future generations, keeping objects is no longer a coping mechanism for their grief. Keeping everything simply becomes the normal and expected thing to do with your belongings.

3. Procrastination

Procrastination is an often overlooked yet huge factor in making decisions about the things in our clutter, and is a ripple that we can inherit from the past.

In previous generations, the tendency to delay tasks or decisions may have been a coping mechanism to minimise anxiety, stress and risk which was then learned by us in childhood. For instance, if your parents or grandparents lived through times of uncertainty and instability (see point 1) they might have adopted a coping mechanism of making decisions slowly and careful and over a period of time, gathering facts and information so they could weigh every option meticulously before making a final decision and taking action on that decision. 

While this careful, cautious, delayed decision making style may have helped previous generations given their circumstances, it may be accepted without question by future generations. Children absorb the attitudes and behaviours of their caregivers, and if our caregivers procrastinate when making decisions, it is likely that we will inherit procrastination, stress and anxiety when making decisions.

4. Mindset

The mindset we inherit from previous generations profoundly impacts our perspectives and attitudes towards making decisions. Fixed mindsets, where people believe that they are born with a limited amount of intelligence, talent and ability that cannot be significantly increased, will not challenge the ripples they inheirt from the past, and therfore not  adapt those ripples to be appropriate to the present.

Conversely, a growth mindset, which is the belief that you are born with an endless ability to learn and achieve things through hard word, determination, patience and persistence, enables you to question past ripples and learn how to make a decision based on the current circumstances in the present.

The dominant mindsets of our ancestors and the mindset ripple that we inherit significantly influences how we approach life’s obstacles and opportunities.

5. Family Connections

One of the most powerful ripples that influences our decisions in the present is linked to the emotions and expectations of previous generations.

The items we inherit carry emotional significance to our family history and can serve as tangible connections to people and moments that have either directly shaped our lives, or those of previous generations. As a result, we can feel the need or expectation to honour those connections by keeping the physical things from the past.

Therefore we keep physical things out of duty and expectation rather than choice. We decide to keep physical things because we know they meant a lot to people who meant a lot to us, rather than because those physical things mean a lot to us in our present. However, in the modern world, there are multiple ways to honour those connections without having to keep the physical things. 

Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, the ripples from the past influence the decisions we make about our clutter in the present. By acknowledging and understanding these ripples and adapting them to our modern world in the present, we can make more intentional choices about what we want and need in the present and therefore what we can let go of from the past.

The past will always be a part of us, but by recognising the impact it has on our present, we can choose what ripples we want to create and pass on to the future.

You can clear your clutter FAST, or you can clear your clutter FOREVER, but you can’t clear your clutter FOREVER FAST.

To find out how Clare can help you clear your clutter Forever, without the need for an expensive home visit, click here now: https://www.clutterclearing.net/clares-help-centre/