Clare’s Clutter Clearing Story
Clare’s Clutter Clearing Story
When I started clearing my clutter and created my LIFE timeline, I realised how important animals had been in my life and how they were an important part of my comfort zone.
My first pet was Heidi, the golden retriever my family had when I was born. Heidi was, by all accounts, the epitome of the breed – outgoing, playful, trustworthy and eager to please, important qualities with two human babies under the age of three in the home.
I don’t remember much about Heidi. She was put to sleep the month before I turned 6. I have only three clear memories of Heidi. The first is of us running through the corn field at the end of the garden together, both of us full of pure joy; Heidi leaping like dogs do, ears flapping, and me throwing my arms up in the air and laughing as I ran.
My second memory is of sharing dog biscuits with her. It was our little secret – she was good at keeping secrets. Heidi and I would sneak into the kitchen, and while she sat patiently on the floor, I pushed the kitchen stool over to her dog cupboard, climbed up onto it, then onto the worktop, opened the cupboard door, got out her box of Shapes biscuits, and proceed to share a handful of biscuits with her. My favourites were the yellow round ones. I can remember the taste and smell of them just by thinking about them.
My third and final memory of Heidi is the night she was put to sleep. I remember looking out my bedroom window, seeing my dad open the boot of our car, lift Heidi into the back, close the door, drive off, and then return alone. I remember my parents coming into my bedroom and telling me that Heidi wouldn’t be coming back. It was one month after my brother had been sent away to boarding school, and around the same time I was being interfered with by a male babysitter.

My 5-year-old brain couldn’t make sense of it. I now know that it’s one reason why I developed weak object constancy and permanence which led to my insecure attachment. My brain concluded that if you upset my mother, you were sent away and didn’t come back. I looked out of my bedroom window every night for weeks, waiting for my brother Simon to bring Heidi home so we could share more biscuits. I spent the next 25 years trying to make my mother happy so that I didn’t get sent away like Simon and Heidi.

18 months later my parents bought a puppy, a black labrador named Ebony. I bonded with her immediately, and we became firm friends. I bonded with Ebony over crisps (chips). My father worked for a company that made them, so he regularly brought home multiple boxes of them. Ebony and I enjoyed our midnight feasts together in the hallway cupboard. Our favourites crisps were Wotsits. It’s not a coincidence that the emotional comfort the dogs gave me as we shared food contributed to my emotional eating.
A few years after we got Ebony, she had 7 gorgeous puppies. We kept the most ‘spirited’ of the litter and called her Bess. Ebony and Bess were forever more referred to as ‘the girls’. My father and I took the girls to dog training together every week to teach them the basics. The girls didn’t really need the classes, but it was nice to spend some one-on-one time with my dad.
Ebony and Bess were my best friends. Every Saturday I would walk the dogs into town with my best friend Juliet. We would tie them to a lamppost while we went window shopping, and they would get a chew stick from the leather shop before we went home. They were my constant companions when I was often off school between the ages of 9 – 16 due to my M.E.
Ebony and Bess were witness to my first romance at the age of 13. He and I would take the girls for long country walks, simply walking and talking for hours, come rain or shine. Ebony adored him because he was good at throwing her red rubber ball long distances. Bess was just happy to be in the countryside.
It was the dogs who were there for my exam results too. My parents assumed I would open the envelope in front of them, but I was adamant that I was opening them alone with the girls in a field. I knew the dogs wouldn’t be judgemental and would wag their tails and lick my face regardless of the results.
When I moved away to boarding school for 2 years at the age of 16, I missed the girls terribly. I was homesick for the girls, not my family. My brother would bring them to see me at weekends as often as he could.
When Ebony came to the end of her life, I was there when she was put down. With Bess it wasn’t the same. My parents – much like when my brother died – told me matter-of-factly after the event. I was furious that they hadn’t given me the chance to say goodbye to my best friend. When soon after Bess’ passing my engagement in my 20’s came to an end, I missed her unconditional love and support hugely.
2 years later when I moved to the suburbs, I decided to get a pet. I would have loved a dog, but I knew it would be irresponsible given that I was out of the house for at least 12 hours a day. I believe it’s cruel to leave dogs home alone. They need walks and people, so I decided to get two cats instead. They could keep each other company and let themselves out.
At the animal shelter I asked them which cats had been there the longest – I’m a big believer in the ‘adopt don’t shop’ principle. They introduced me to Betty and Jack. Betty had half a tail, and they were both thought to be between the ages of 8 – 10. Sadly, Jack passed away unexpectedly before I brought them home so only Betty moved in with me.
It felt good to have the unconditional, non-judgemental companionship of a pet again, someone to come home to, talk to and cuddle. Betty didn’t care about my clutter. All she needed was her spot on the back of the sofa in the bay window and regular food.
Betty would go on to become an important part of the story of my relationship with my husband. When we were just good friends he cat-sat her while I went on holiday. Betty was more excited to see Keith on my return than me! I believe animals are good judges of character, and that was when I realised Betty may be on to something. The three of us would go on to have four happy years together.
In the 15 years since we lost Betty, my husband and I have had 6 cats. 3 of them just decided to move in with us, 3 of them we intentionally adopted and came to us as kittens. We were only supposed to be adopting 1, but my husband couldn’t bear to separate the girl – Dora – from her 2 brothers – Gatsby and Stanley – so we went back to get the boys 24 hours later.
I now consider having a pet an important part of my Best Life because they always have – and always will – give me the comfort, safety and unconditional love and support that I’ve never managed to replicate with humans – other than my husband!
In my past, animals filled the emotional void that I grew up in. They gave me the unconditional love and support I needed. Therapy pets before that even became a thing. In the present, they are my safe happy place and bring me joy and gratitude every day.
If you can discover what, in the past, has provided you with the comfort and safety that your clutter currently gives you, you’ll know what you need to incorporate into your Best Life to fill the physical void that clearing our clutter can so often create.
You can clear your clutter fast, or you can clear your clutter forever, but you can’t clear your clutter forever, fast. To find out how Clare can help you clear your clutter Forever, without the need for an expensive home visit, click here now: https://www.clutterclearing.net/clares-help-centre/